Boy-Girl, Boy-Girl

I was putting Abby to bed tonight and she wanted to read "Thank You, God".

The first page had a bear with a bow on her head. Abby said, "Girl bear."

Then she called the boy bear on the other page the "Mommy big bear".

I said, "That's a boy bear. Who else is a boy in our house?"

After a perplexed look from Abby, I said, "Jack! Jack is a boy."

Abby replies, "No, Mommy! (with a you-are-an-idiot tone) Jack is a baby."

"Yes. Jack is a baby. But he's a baby boy."

"No, Mommy! Jack is a ba-by."

Yes, yes, I concede.

I then ask, "What is Abby?"

She proudly replies, "Abby is a girl!"

"What is Mommy?"

Abby says, "Mommy is a girl!"

Then I ask, "What is Daddy?"

She just looks confused.

I say, "Daddy is a boy!"

She replies, "No, Mommy ... Daddy is on the phone!"

Leia's tragic reality

Leia's inner dialogue during an all-to-familiar situation this afternoon. Please read with the voice of Stuey from Family Guy.

"Last time I checked, I was a cat ... not a pillow."

"I recognize I'm a little on the fluffy side, but that doesn't mean you can just do whatever you'd like."

"You're about to get a paw in the face."

"I'm so done with this. You're cute, but I need to retain my dignity. You're lucky I didn't go Lucifer on you (see Cinderella)."

"Are you following me?"

"Sonofa ..."

Why? WHY?

Honestly.

I have truly understood what God goes through with us here on earth through the first two years with my daughter - particularly the last year when she has had the capacity to misbehave.

There are times I just don't get it and it frustrates me to no end. Something so simple I ask her to do, she refuses. Just because.

Today she threw a Memory game on the floor. All the pieces went everywhere. I asked her to pick it up. She wouldn't do it.

We were supposed to go to my parents' house so she could play with some new toys they got her and visit. I asked her if she wanted to go see Grandma and Papa and she was excited and ready to go.

I got her dressed, put her shoes on and I packed the bags to leave. Jack was in his carseat. All she needed to do was pick up the pieces from the Memory game and put them back in the box.

Would she do it?

No.

She wouldn't do it for an hour and a half. AN HOUR AND A HALF.

I explained to her in as simple a cause-and-effect terms as I could. If she picks up the pieces, we will leave for Grandma and Papa's house. Do you want to go to Grandma and Papa's house? Then pick up the pieces.

No. No, no, no, no.

She screamed. She whined. She misbehaved by climbing into Jack's rocking seat and yanking things off the end table.

I put her in her room telling her she would have to take a nap. Five minutes later I went back in there, asked her if she still wanted to go to Grandma and Papa's. She said yes, so I told her great - all we need to do is pick up the pieces.

Would she do it?

No.

More screaming. More asking for food. More attempts at playing with other toys.

I called my mom to tell her we wouldn't be able to come over because Abby wouldn't pick up the game she threw on the floor. Mom asked her to please pick up the game so she could come see her.

She put two pieces in the box and abandoned it. Back to screaming, whining, responding to me by saying I needed to "help" her put it away.

I tried the nap method again, going back up there in the hopes that it had sunk in and she'd clean up the game. Nope.

Finally - at 10:45 (I was ready to leave at 9:30), I put her upstairs in her room for good. I have no idea how long I'm going to let her rest up there, but I just sit downstairs perplexed.

Such a simple task. Put some pieces in a box. Not difficult. All she had to do was put pieces in a box and she would have had everything she wanted.

Makes me wonder how often we do things like that. Deny God's promptings for no good reason and miss out on great opportunities.

I really hope Abby puts the pieces away soon so we can go to my parents' house and she can play with new toys. I would be so happy to give her exactly what she wants.

I'm sure that's how God feels too.