I've Committed the Cardinal Sin of Blogging

I've been MIA for awhile.

I doubt anyone would blame me, considering the chaos that is my life. I will say that I'm enjoying it more now that my family has settled into having three kids instead of two ... and no longer being pregnant means I can survive on much less sleep.

So, here are my updates in all areas of my life:

Network Marketing Niche

I remain on my quest to become a top earner with Rodan+Fields, though my strategy has changed to better fit my own personality and style. I'm definitely enjoying all of the success stories from customers as I'm embracing my inner saleswoman.

Body After Baby: Update

I'm still working on getting back into shape after having my third baby in five years. It's not as easy as I would have hoped. I tried the Dr. Phil 20/20 diet, but my milk supply tanked on the first day and I had to go back to eating regularly. The key for me is exercise, but I'm having a tough time motivating myself to do so every single night.

There is something about sitting on the couch and drinking wine with my husband that has a magnetic pull each and every night. I'm getting better, but I'm definitely not to where I need to be.

Kids: Two is Company, Three's a Crowd

I feel like Abby went through the hellion stage after Evie was born, incredibly clingy with me and throwing tantrums at every turn. Now it's as though she's passed the baton to Jack, who has taken up the role as resident jealous child.

Jack is an impressive tantrum-thrower, I must say. While Abby has the determination of a bull, Jack can throw a fit over the most random of things. One day while I was dropping him off at school, he fell to the floor in a fit of tears because Buzz Lightyear's arm wasn't in the proper position. If anything, I suppose he'll be the model student when "stop, drop, and roll" is the topic of the day.

He also has zero control over his body, which can effectively be used as a weapon. Because he feels the need to jump around every single second of the day, it isn't uncommon in our house to hear me or my husband sudden scream, "Ow! Jack, don't kick me in the face!"

Then, because of what I label as a need to showcase her status as the model child, Abby will emerge on the scene asking (loudly), "What happened? What did Jack do?" You can actually see the halo over her head while she's asking these questions. She might as ask, "What is it now that my heathen of a brother has gotten himself into?"

But, really, they all love each other. Moving on.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• Full House is creating a spinoff where DJ is a widowed mother of two with another baby on the way. This has the potential to be awesome. It also has the potential to be incredibly painful. Either way, I'm enjoying all of the Mary Kate and Ashley jokes that have emerged this week.
• Grey's Anatomy has killed off another main character. Many on Facebook are revolting after the difficult episode. I, personally, just can't believe that show is still on. I haven't watched it since Meredith had a near-death experience. It has taken on a soap opera type quality where everything that could ever go wrong to a person has gone wrong. If you've made it this far with the show, I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or dish out condolences. Then again, I'm excited for a Full House reunion.
• I will be participating in the Michigan Softball Academy for the second straight year next Thursday. Anyone who wants to donate can do so here. We are trying to raise the most money, specifically looking to take down the WTKA team. I am hoping I do much better than last year. While I'm a pretty good fielder, my hitting skills leave much to be desired. I can actually sense the looks of pity on me as a whiff swing after swing. Here's hoping I can make contact more often than not.

Body After Baby: Will all the Overachievers Please Stand Up?

It's just after 9 PM. We've just put the kids to bed -- all three of them, actually.

I'm sitting here on the couch exhausted from the day and just wanting to check out. But the little perfectionist inside of me calls my name.

Work out ... work out ...

I actually haven't done my DDPYoga since last Friday (gasp). The baby has reflux and has not allowed me to put her down all week, making it particularly difficult to do anything. My goal is to work out in the afternoons, but it has been impossible ... unless I can somehow manage a downward dog with a baby in a sling. Doubtful.

All that being said, here is where I reach out to my fellow overachievers and ask you to weigh in.

We have a lot of good things going for us in the area of exercise. If you beat yourself up because you aren't exercising, you end up (wait for it) getting plenty of exercise. The problem is that you also tend to mentally exhaust yourself to the point of a nervous breakdown.

I have no idea what behavior rational when it comes to exercise. In the past, I've used it to help myself feel as though I have a sense of control over my life, which obviously isn't healthy.

Stair stepping is no joke, y'all.

I don't need to be getting all DJ Tanner on that stair stepper! I am also flashing to Jessie Spano with her caffeine pills, but I'm not sure that applies here. Other than the fact that I would really love a caffeine pill right about now.

Back to the point.

What happens is that I let a workout slide because I'm exhausted. Then the same thing happens the following evening. Then the next evening I start questioning myself: am I properly relaxing or am I being lazy? Then I go round and round in my head.

Then in order to justify my lack of working out, I plead my case to my husband. This gets pathetic, especially when he throws me off by encouraging physical activity.

Me: "I shouldn't work out tonight, right?"
Him: "No, go ahead. It'll help you feel better."
Me: ::curses his optimism::

Other times, I draw it out to really drive the point home with myself that I most definitely should not work out.

Me: "I shouldn't work out tonight, right?"
Him: "No, relax. You've had a long week."
Me: (Near whining) "But I haven't worked out in two days."
Him: "Just sit down. Watch Criminal Minds."
Me: (Puppy-dog pathetic) "Okay."

How do you fellow overachievers handle the balance between rest and exercise? Does someone else hold you accountable? HELP.

I will not -- I repeat will NOT -- be trying on pre-pregnancy jeans

Have I made that clear?

Okay, so I realize this "postpartum pressure" is completely self-inflicted.

I hate the stage I am in right now. That in-between-clothing stage where there is no way in hell I'm going to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and I have to step into maternity clothes.

For my first two kids, I tried to purchase bigger sizes so I wouldn't have to experience the (self-inflicted) shame of wearing my maternity clothes.

I have since realized that was a total waste of money and effort. My frame has not changed. My body structure still fits in my pre-pregnancy size. Problem is the additional padding I'm currently sporting.

Another mistake I will not be repeating: trying on my pre-pregnancy jeans in a moment of delusion.

::sob::

A combination of starting the workout process and having just shed the pounds of the labor and delivery (i.e. baby + placenta) had led me to believe there was a chance those clothes could fit. Ha! The postpartum gods mock me.

I can remember feeling encouraged after having Abby, thinking that I must at least be close to fitting into my old clothes. Then I attempted to actually put the jeans on. Sadness and horror followed when I realized my challenge wasn't -- as I had originally thought -- simply buttoning my jeans ... it was GETTING THEM OVER MY ASS.

I mean, seriously? Talk about a kick in the (now-larger) gut.

The best part is that I found that same ignorant place after I had Jack.

How the hell could I do that to myself again? Apparently my vision was impaired. I thought (once again in error) that I could put my pre-pregnancy jeans on only to (once again) discover I couldn't even fit them over my ass.

Fantastic, Chrissie. Way to encourage yourself.

So I will not be repeating that mistake. I will be on the final straightaway when I choose to try on my pre-pregnancy clothes this time, especially since -- thanks to DDPYoga -- I went down a full clothing size after getting back into shape the last time.

Speaking of DDPYoga, I'm in the second week of the workout program. I feel stronger and my shape looks tighter. Unfortunately the scale has not budged, which is quite discouraging. I know the first weeks of a workout program can result in a slight weight gain due to muscle fatigue, but it's still not fun.

At the same time, I may or may not be sabotaging weight loss efforts with my sudden passion for desserts. I should probably work on that, because I must be eating a hell of a lot to be working out and round-the-clock breastfeeding and not losing weight.

I am somewhere between 15-20 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy number, so there is definitely a long way to go. The positive for me is that I know DDPYoga works, it's just a matter of following the plan. If I get deeper into the program and I'm still not losing weight, I'll probably be frustrated enough to hop back onto MyFitnessPal to start shedding the pounds.

And in the meantime, I will not -- I repeat will not -- be trying on any pre-pregnancy jeans.

My body after baby: A look in the mirror

Meeting Dallas at a DDPYoga workshop
in January of 2014.

So many things in life are a blessing and a curse.

One of those qualities for me is my unbelievable drive to succeed. I am one of those people who decides I want something and then do whatever it takes to get it. While this leaves me extremely disciplined, it also leaves me unable to relax. My husband in particular does not enjoy that aspect of my personality. (Also truly fitting that I would have a cat on Prozac)

I am planning on blogging my journey to getting back into shape, but it won't be a typical one. I am a unique individual with unique obstacles when it comes to this. While this may result in some cursing my name, it may also allow me to connect with a personality type that isn't typically targeted when it comes to getting into shape: the psycho exercisers.

Taking a quick look back at my getting-into-shape history, I did try eating right while I was in college. What it ultimately created in my 20-year-old self was an absolute obsession with food and an insatiable hunger. All I thought about was what I was eating and when I would eat next. I did lose weight for a time, but it didn't last. I was quickly burned out.

Now 32, I've come to learn more about myself, which has helped me become successful in regards to my health and nutrition.

First off, I don't try to eat perfectly because it creates such a high level of stress in my life. This means that, despite starting my get-into-shape plan a week ago, I have also consumed a full pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked over the course of the last 16 hours.

An aside: while the founder of my workout plan of choice -- Dallas Page -- may not approve of that dietary choice, it does clearly state on the package that all ingredients are Non-GMO ... so there's that.

Second, I recruited my husband to be my exercise pulse. I obsess about exercise to the point of mental exhaustion.

Should I work out? I should work out. I need to work out. I'm so tired. I should work out, but it's 11 pm ... should I work out?

(As evidence to my self-diagnosed insanity, I will confirm that I have, in fact, worked out many times at 11 pm.)

My husband gives me one of the following responses:

1. "Don't work out, but I know you're going to anyway"
2. "Just work out, you'll feel better"
3. "You're not working out, have a beer"

He really is the best.

Meeting Dallas has been a great experience,
sparking what I hope will be a lasting friendship.

Finally, I try to make generally good food choices. Meeting Dallas did raise my awareness of chemically-treated food and GMO, but if I tried to eat perfectly (see my first paragraphs), I would go insane and -- probably -- broke.

My solution was to buy organic produce and meats and do the same in other areas when necessary. This has allowed me to make slow change over time. So, sorry Dallas, but Ben & Jerry's is here to stay ... for now.

What I don't strive to be is one of those celebrities in a fitness magazine who boasts about substituting tofu for chocolate cake ("it's her favorite healthy treat!") or "splurging" on pizza and ice cream one day a week. I eat what I want, but what I find is that exercise helps me eat better. When I feel better, I want to eat better.

This lighthearted attitude is a must for me, or I will drive myself crazy. To lose the weight I had put on after my first two kids, I ultimately instilled the help of MyFitnessPal because I recognized the exercise was making me stronger, but not thinner. Right now I can't do that because I'm in the first months of nursing.

(By the way, why can't I be one of those women who "magically" loses all baby weight by breastfeeding? Probably because breastfeeding has me feeding way more than I need to be ...)

So, I'm a week and a half into DDPYoga, which got me into kick-ass shape a year ago. I took my "before" pictures, but went all the way and am only wearing a sports bra in them (don't worry, I'm also wearing pants), so I'm going to hold off sharing them until I have a progress picture to compare.

For now, I'll try to make decent food decisions while doing my diamond cutters diligently.

BANG!