Sunday, January 5, 2014

Examples of the amazing content I don't get around to posting (but should)

I look back on this blog and see that there are 37 posts from 2012.

There are only 14 from 2013.

Coincidence? Random happenstance?

Definitely not.

You see, my friends, there was a major event that happened midway through 2012. One Jack Robert Wywrot was born.

While that resulted in a steep increase in blog posts as I tried to find some semblance of sanity during my maternity leave with two under two, that has since become a strong decline in the area of writing for pleasure.

Two children with two working parents is tough. Throw in the fact that Tom and I don't have typical jobs and it's like having three children. Rarely are all four of us together at home at the end of the day.

There are plenty of times I wish I had the time (or energy) to write down awesome moments taking place in my day-to-day life with the kids, but ultimately (and unfortunately) I don't.

I'm going to try and recall some gems now. Lord knows the passing of time could have the same impact as trying to deliver a message through a game of telephone ("No, really, Abby was hanging from the light fixture!), but I'll give it a whirl nonetheless. Could make for even higher levels of entertainment.

THE NAPTIME EXCHANGE
I do have the benefit of G-chat archives, so I can pull up my moment-by-moment account of a "conversation" between Abby and Jack yesterday during naptime.

I had the lofty goal of both my kids sleeping in the same room at the same time. I know. Stupid.

At any rate, I had the pleasure of witnessing this exchange over the monitor.
Jack: ::gibberish::

Abby: "Jack did you throw up? You throw up EVERYWHERE! Do not throw up ANY. MORE. It will get the house all dirty." 

Abby (cont.): "I asked you FOUR TIMES already. FOUR."

Jack: "FOUR."

Abby: "Lay down so you don't throw up again."

Jack: ::gibberish::
The best (or worst) part of this was that Jack had, in fact, thrown up a little bit. I didn't think Abby was right because I didn't hear any throwing up and he wasn't upset. It was just a little bit of throw up. Really. Nothing major. Naturally, when I told Tom he had thrown up a little, he said, "So she was right."

Whatever. Yes. The three-year old was "right". If that's what you want to call it.

I APPARENTLY HAVE FOUR "ELBOWS"
There are those awkward moments when a small child asks about something beyond his or her years.

Abby frequently asks about feminine products and I have no idea what to say. It's not like I'm ashamed or anything, but I don't want to scare the kid. My responses end up being absolutely ridiculous and make zero sense.
Me (stupidly): "Those are ... for ... cleaning."

Abby: "Cleaning?"
Me: "Is that a bird?" (Okay, I didn't really say that)
Well, today, Abby came across a bra and asked if she could put it on. I told her no. I also took note that Abby holding up my bra is the only time it will ever appear incredibly large, but I digress.

After I told her no, she puffed out her stomach and said, "Why, Mommy? I have elbows."

I guess that is what she has decided a bra is for. To hold up "elbows". She then asked to touch mine, confirming (by her grabbing) that she was, in fact, referring to "elbows".

Ah, kids.

SAD, BUT TRUE
There are moments like these that happen almost daily that I don't sit down and write about. I really should. Maybe if I set some sort of alarm to remind me to write about the mundane, but hilarious, things that happen I'll actually do it.

If anything, it can help me feel better about neglecting those baby books I have lying around. Every time Jack smiles I feel guilty that I haven't noted the emergence of his most recent teeth.

I'll just guestimate, he won't know the difference, ultimately. It's really only the first four that matter anyway, right?

Well, we'll see if my post average gets off to a solid clip in 2014!