Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I've Been Mommy-fied

Before having a child, I never in a million years thought I would be a nursing mother. The thought of it always made me uncomfortable.

Whenever anyone would talk about nursing, I would automatically default to, "I'm just going to bottle-feed. I just don't think nursing is for me."

Then a few friends talked about the benefits with me while I was pregnant and I decided to give it a shot "for the first six weeks." Even when talking about it, I would turn up my nose and say, "I'm going to give it a try."

Fast forward nine months and I am still a nursing mother. My child has not had formula since day two of her life. And I am in no hurry to wean.

Perhaps it is my insensitive personality that shocks people when they realize I am still nursing.

"Wow, really?"

Yes, really. I am still nursing. And my brain has shifted so much that I now judge the person I used to be.

I twitch when people make offhanded remarks about nursing "older" children (older as in a year) before they realize I am still nursing my kid. People who make statements like, "When they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old."

Not really. My child is approaching the age when she can ask for things and I don't think she is too old.

I am currently struggling with the fact that I am in no hurry to wean my child ... because, pre-baby, I would have judged myself. I would have turned my nose up at the thought of nursing a toddler. With Abby showing signs of toddling, I am approaching that status.

What is a (nursing) mother to do?

I suppose I should wait until I feel good and ready, but right now the thought of nursing her for the last time is enough to get me misty-eyed.

For now, I suppose I'll just continue to enjoy the bonding with my child, the caloric benefits (I can pretty much eat like a person from those hot dog competitions) and the ... ahem ... figure.