Thursday, February 5, 2015

I will not -- I repeat will NOT -- be trying on pre-pregnancy jeans

Have I made that clear?

Okay, so I realize this "postpartum pressure" is completely self-inflicted.

I hate the stage I am in right now. That in-between-clothing stage where there is no way in hell I'm going to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and I have to step into maternity clothes.

For my first two kids, I tried to purchase bigger sizes so I wouldn't have to experience the (self-inflicted) shame of wearing my maternity clothes.

I have since realized that was a total waste of money and effort. My frame has not changed. My body structure still fits in my pre-pregnancy size. Problem is the additional padding I'm currently sporting.

Another mistake I will not be repeating: trying on my pre-pregnancy jeans in a moment of delusion.

::sob::
A combination of starting the workout process and having just shed the pounds of the labor and delivery (i.e. baby + placenta) had led me to believe there was a chance those clothes could fit. Ha! The postpartum gods mock me.

I can remember feeling encouraged after having Abby, thinking that I must at least be close to fitting into my old clothes. Then I attempted to actually put the jeans on. Sadness and horror followed when I realized my challenge wasn't -- as I had originally thought -- simply buttoning my jeans ... it was GETTING THEM OVER MY ASS.

I mean, seriously? Talk about a kick in the (now-larger) gut.

The best part is that I found that same ignorant place after I had Jack.

How the hell could I do that to myself again? Apparently my vision was impaired. I thought (once again in error) that I could put my pre-pregnancy jeans on only to (once again) discover I couldn't even fit them over my ass.

Fantastic, Chrissie. Way to encourage yourself.

So I will not be repeating that mistake. I will be on the final straightaway when I choose to try on my pre-pregnancy clothes this time, especially since -- thanks to DDPYoga -- I went down a full clothing size after getting back into shape the last time.

Speaking of DDPYoga, I'm in the second week of the workout program. I feel stronger and my shape looks tighter. Unfortunately the scale has not budged, which is quite discouraging. I know the first weeks of a workout program can result in a slight weight gain due to muscle fatigue, but it's still not fun.

At the same time, I may or may not be sabotaging weight loss efforts with my sudden passion for desserts. I should probably work on that, because I must be eating a hell of a lot to be working out and round-the-clock breastfeeding and not losing weight.

I am somewhere between 15-20 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy number, so there is definitely a long way to go. The positive for me is that I know DDPYoga works, it's just a matter of following the plan. If I get deeper into the program and I'm still not losing weight, I'll probably be frustrated enough to hop back onto MyFitnessPal to start shedding the pounds.

And in the meantime, I will not -- I repeat will not -- be trying on any pre-pregnancy jeans.