Thursday, April 12, 2012

Feeling better

After an evening with the family, I am feeling a little better about Luke.

He is definitely acting himself and actually seems to be acting much better since the surgery (he had two teeth and the growth removed).

He is eating just fine and wants to play. All good signs I hear.

It was one of those things where I just had the feeling everything wasn't going to be okay when I knew we had to send that growth for biopsy. I just had that uneasy feeling. All of the reassurance I was getting wasn't working and I think that's because - deep down in my gut - I knew everything wasn't perfect.

Now that I've received the news, though, it's almost calming because that tug at my gut has been confirmed and now we can move forward from there. I now have a different tug in my gut: that everything is going to be just fine.

I'm nervous about having that perspective, but I have it nonetheless. Aside from that, I just need to trust that I will be taken care of and comforted no matter what happens with him.

This event is just one in a long list of events that has made this a rollercoaster of a pregnancy. Such polarizing differences between Abby and Little Man.

With Abby, it was that elation of a first pregnancy. It's like it's an event - a wedding or something like that. Everyone wants to know what is going on with the pregnancy, you register for gifts, have showers, you know your life is going to change dramatically.

With baby no. 2 (especially so soon after baby no. 1), the reaction of telling people I was pregnant was something along the lines of, "Oh. Wow. That's nice. You wanted them close together, huh?"

Since those less-than-exciting responses, my dad has had major heart surgery and a stroke and has been on the mend since November (when I was about 11 weeks along), my work life has been insane, we had a slight scare on our anatomy scan and now this issue with Luke. Oh, and did I mention I have a rambunctious toddler?

It's been crazy and distracting to say the least!

It's almost like the fact that we will have a baby in less than 10 weeks is just a fabrication. I haven't really been focused on this pregnancy at all. We still need to get a double stroller, a toddler bed for Abby and those teeny little newborn diapers :)

I'm really excited, though, that's for sure! I'm also nervous about this whole "boy" thing.

But that's for an entirely different post.